Kajal Iyer describes one busy day in a modern day Indian journalist’s life: in the morning, she has to meet Naare Nath, head of Touchy Indians Inc which holds ‘copyright, trademark, IPR and every other documentation’ on the naara Halla Bol.

‘If we didn’t raise our voice frequently, our Indian culture and ethos would have ceased to exist. We say Halla Bol to all those who are a threat and we reduce them to pulp. But all said and done, we are the most secular and seva bhavi group in India. Our Hindu cadres extort gift and card shop owners every Valentines and give away all the money to Sadhu babas who teach us how to uphold Hindu traditions. Our Muslim cadres are constantly on the look out for independent girls who defy tradition. I don’t understand why all of them want to wear skirts and model in the backdrop of dargahs. Disgusting! Our Christian cadre hunts down every possible violation of the sanctity of the Bible.’

And then, Kajal has to meet Mahesh Bhatt or Shobhaa De for the liberal reactions.