Sudipta produces the ‘Desi Juliet Guide’:

MOTHER MARY (Julietofus Matronus).Whoever said reincarnations aren’t possible obviously never knew of Florence Nightingale or this variety of juliets. People tend to remember her whenever they need money. Her purse strings open even when the guys’ dogs die back home. Usually her living room has trouble accommodating pictures of all the 3 million gods and goddesses, and she defines very strict boundaries for all forms of shoes or sandals about the door. [...]BASANTI (Julietofus Rusticus).India went global and exported this variety as the symbol of desi village culture and tradition. She turned up wearing anklets on the first day at school, and has learned since then that bizzare shining yellow and orange salwar kameez-es don’t really need those jewelry to draw extra attention. Switches into her dehati accent in the middle of a conversation suddenly, and is not bothered at all about the people staring into her face blankly.

And so on. He starts with an imaginative disclaimer- says it is mostly ‘the work of his imagination’. Those sharpening knives and assorted weaponry: you can’t really physically attack an imagination, can you?